Stupid criminals are still on the loose...

Editor’s note: The only thing better than apprehending a criminal is catching one who’s stupid. Here are a few of the latest who have made the news.

--South Carolina: A man walked into a police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the sergeant that it was substandard, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately. He was immediately arrested, instead.
--Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled -- leaving his wallet. He was promptly arrested.
--Arizona: A company called “Guns For Hire” stages gunfights for Western movies. They received a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.
--Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check -- a *forged* check. He got 10 years.
--(Louisiana): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag over his head -- and realized that he’d forgotten to cut eye-holes in the mask. He was promptly arrested.
--British Columbia: A man dropped by a drugstore to say that he would be back in 30 minutes to rob the place. On time for his appointment, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police arrested him.
--A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head.
--When two service station attendants in Michigan, refused to hand over cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
--A Los Angeles man who later said he was “tired of walking,” stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
--A young man broke into a London store after hours and stole three adult magazines. However, when attempting to run away, he spilled over the magazine stand and unwittingly switched his magazines for Farmer’s Weekly!
--During a live taping on the Home Shopping channel in London, two men ran through the studio and stole jewelry while the cameras rolled. They only made it to the elevator before being arrested.
--Pensacola, Florida A man robs a motel late at night and then proceeds to run into the nearby woods. The clerk called the police and upon arriving they started to search the woods. Since it was pitch black that night, they figured they would never catch the perpetrator until one of them noticed flashing red lights. The robber was wearing a pair of sneakers that have the flashing lights when he steps.
And my personal favorite:
--A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody move!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him in the backside.